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Dynamo Dog
in
The RETURN of the Oobleck


	It began as a tiny fleck of green in the corner of his refrigerator, but last night it ate his 

neighbor, Saint Bernard.  Dynamo Dog, the great super hero of the universe that he is, could not 

let it continue to eat dogs.

	“That’s terrible!” He said.  “Ol’ Bernard was my friend!”  

	Anyway, it was soon discovered that the Segagens had perfected a new form of the 

dreaded, toxic Oobleck! Before, it merely suffocated the Nintendonian towns, but now it could 

grow!  If it continued to eat everything, the scary substance would not stop spreading!  Dynamo 

had a plan, but he would have to get help from his friend, Ira the Invisible Iguana.

	“Fool!” cried the Nintendonian leader.  “I keep telling you that Ira Iguana  is a figment of 

your frail imagination!”

	“Ouch!  You broke it!”

	“What?”

	“My frail imagination!”

	Meanwhile, this new Oobleck was terrorizing the town, having a particulary partial 

preference to puppies.  Every dog was doomed!  Every pooch pulverized!  Every mutt mutilated!  

Then Dynamo Dog realized, “It must be after me!”

	Dynamo, being the genius that he was, had figured out the terrible truth, the Segagens had 

created this substance to totally terminate the dynamic Dynamo Dog!

	“Oh my Dog!” he yelled calmly, “I’ve fallen right into their trap!”

	“We’re doomed!” cried Wiley the pilot, “doomed, doomed, DOOMED!”

	“Why?” asked a Nintendonian.  “We’re not dogs.”

	“Oh, right.” he sheepishly subsided.

	Dynamo was baffled.  How could he stop the Oobleck now?  he would be in grave 

danger!  He would have to take his cape to the dry cleaners again!  No, this would not do.  He 

tried to think, but something kept interfering with his train of thought.

	“Damn that stupid Full House theme song!!!”  Then, it finally hit him.  “Ouch!” he cried.

	He immediately went to his pal, Perry the Poisonous Poodle.  “Perry!  We could use your . 

. . ahem . . . services.”

	“Absolutely not!” cried Perry.  “I’m not sacrificing myself for your sorry butt!  I’m sitting 

right here inside where it’s safe to drink my Lipton Tea.”

	“Give me that!” said Dynamo grabbing it from him.  Dynamo then promptly drank the 

rest.  “Aaaaah, refreshing!” he said.  “Now Perry, be reasonable.  How can you just sit there while 

this terrible thing terrorizes the town, knowing full well that you can stop it?

	“I like to think of it as my self-preservation theory.  The way I look at it, my options are 

these: Go out the door and get eaten; Go out the window and still get eaten; Stay in here, be 

comfortable, drink tea:  not get eaten.  What would you choose?”

	“You’ve got a point, Perry.  I guess I’ll just have to find some other way to stop this 

obnoxious Oobleck.”  Dynamo left the home of Perry the Poisionous Poodle and returned 

promptly with a big bulldozer.

	“What the hell are you doing, Dynamo?!” cried the protesting Perry Poodle.

	“Reducing your options.” he replied as he ran over Perry’s house.  Dynamo could see the 

Oobleck approaching rapidly.  “Look Perry, I can think of two things you could do.”

	“What! Tell me quickly!”

	“Number one:  go over there and get eaten.  And number two . . . oh wait, there was no 

two.”

	“I’m leaving now.” said Perry calmly and he turned and ran screaming away from the 

odious Oobleck.  Dynamo winced as the slimy substance quickly caught up to and consumed the 

pitiful Perry Poodle.  Unfortunately, the grisly grime didn’t seem to be phased by Perry’s poison 

and continued to cavort through the town.

	“Hmm.  I’ll have to come up with something else then, I guess.”   Suddenly the slime 

seemed to spot him and it slithered slowly in search of supper.  Dynamo pulled out another can of 

Lipton Tea  and drank it down quickly, throwing the empty can at the Oobleck in frustration as he 

ran away.  As the can hit the slime it began to sizzle and caused the putrid green pudding to rear 

back in repulsion.  Dynamo stopped, thinking how odd this was until the little man who lived in 

his nose told him that the Oobleck must be allergic to Lipton Tea.  “So all I would have to do is 

pour a whole bunch of the stuff on our blobby friend over there and POOF!”  Dynamo thought 

about this for a while but decided it was not worth the sacrifice.  He just could not allow all that 

Lipton Tea to go to waste.  

	The Nintendonians were beginning to become quite annoyed with the awful amorphous 

anomaly quickly consuming canines.  They had held a meeting and decided that loyalty could go 

hang, and that they were going to give the slimy stuff Dynamo Dog and have done.  A particularly 

angry group of Nintendonians marched up to Dynamo in a particular way that filled Dynamo with 

an overwhelming sense of doom.

	One Nintendonian, who's name was Zeebok Ramses but he made everyone address him as 

Therm, attracted the space dog’s attention by clearing his throat.  Dynamo glanced quickly at the 

rope in Therm’s hand, then to the gag held by another Nintendonian, then to the Oobleck, back to 

the rope, and he understood.

	“So that’s the way it’s gonna be then, is it?  After all my dedicated service, you’re just 

going to give me up just like that.” Dynamo glanced up at Therm who flashed him an apologetic 

grin, and shrugged his shoulders as if to say, “...I’m really enjoying this, actually.”  Dynamo 

turned to flee but within seconds they were upon him, tying his limbs and attempting to stuff a 

rather nasty looking sock into his mouth.  Dynamo’s mind raced for ideas but he could only come 

to one conclusion.

	“Wauu...” he yelled.  He had been trying to say ‘wait’ but it was made difficult by the 

moldy sock in his mouth.  Fortunately the Nintendonians understood him and pulled out the sock.  

“There is. . .another way.” he said breathlessly.  

	“Well what is it?!” a Nintendonian screamed at him.

	“No, no it’s too. . .too terrible. . .” Dynamo then paused for a bit -- a little too long, 

because they began to stuff the sock into his mouth again.  “Fine!  It’s allergic to tea, okay!   

Lipton Tea if you must know!”

	“But that doesn’t help us!  Where are we going to get enough...” the Nintendonian 

speaking stopped in mid-question, realizing that he and everyone else already knew the answer.  

They then untied Dynamo, which was quickly revealed as a mistake as the space dog went fleeing 

back to his house to protect his precious drinks.  

	Meanwhile, the Oobleck had finally consumed every dog in the district without downing 

Dynamo and on some level, it realized where the space dog must be.  Oozing toward Dynamo’s 

Nintendonian Summer Home, the odious Oobleck’s hunger grew until it was entirely consumed 

by it’s longing to digest that delectable dog.  Eventually it approached Dynamo’s home, at the 

same time the Nintendonian Armed Forces arrived.  

	Dynamo peered out his window.  “So they’re all against me now, are they!?  Well I’ve still 

got you, I guess.”  he said to the mountain consisting of several thousand cans of Lipton Tea 

behind him.  “The entire population of this planet and a gigantic alien blob against me.  I just hope 

their up to it.  Right old pal?” the  Lipton Tea said nothing.  

	Outside, the Nintendonians and the Oobleck were just about to attack Dynamo’s home 

when a flash of orange light blazed behind them and out of it came - - a gigantic 30 foot high 

Lizard of Largeness!  It’s fiery tongue blazing and it’s purple eyes glowing, the lizard slashed into 

the cowering conglomeration of slime, sending it splattering over a sizeable setting where it 

shriveled and soaked into the soil.  

	Dynamo stared smugly outside for he knew the identity of the looming length of large 

lizard.  It was none other than... “Ira the Invisible Iguana!” Dynamo shouted happily.  It appeared 

that Ira was now no longer invisible, or imaginary, just improbable.  The ravenous reptile then 

turned and swept it’s fiery tongue over the Nintendonian city and set it ablaze.  Several fleeing 

Nintendonians were disintegrated by the fiery wrath it exhorted. Then, with the Oobleck 

destoryed and the city in ruins, Ira the Improbable Iguana turned toward Dynamo Dog’s humble 

home, gave him a wink with it’s purple eye, saluted, and disappeared again into a flash of orange 

light.  

	Dynamo smiled and returned the salute.  “Well,” he said, turning to his tea, “I guess it 

really does help to have imaginary friends in nigh places.”  Dynamo snickered at his own small 

joke, and again the Lipton Tea said nothing. 

The End

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