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DOCTOR WHO AND THE BAD SCRIPT

"My God this is a bad script. I'm glad I didn't have to use it!"

SCENE 1

After the last really exciting episode which you did not see because it is apparantly missing from the BBC Archives, the Master is confronting the Doctor with his evil plan to take over the Universe. Yes, we know that is getting old, but work with us here okay!

DOCTOR: Oh no, it's you again.

MASTER: Not pleased to see me Doctor? I would have thought you'd be overjoyed.

DOCTOR: What dastardly scheme have you concocted this time?

MASTER: Ha! Sometimes, Doctor you do not seem a worthy adversary.

DOCTOR: Every time we have met, I have defeated you.

MASTER: Aah, but you underestimate me doctor, I have a weapon that could annihilate you, and that miserable planet of which you hold so much affection.

DOCTOR: Nonsense! This is just more of your clever deception.
I'm calling your bluff.

MASTER: Then face the consequences Doctor!

(Master pulls small object from his pocket)

DOCTOR: That's my sonic screwdriver! Where did you get that!

MASTER: Not only am I a genius, Doctor, with a mind which you
could only hope to rival, I am also an experienced pickpoket.

DOCTOR: Your evil is without bounds! Give it back. Please. I'll be
your best friend.

MASTER: HA! See how you grovel at my feet.

Meanwhile NYSSA has crept up behind the Master and is getting ready to hit him over the head with a large book.

DOCTOR: Oh. Look out behind you.

MASTER: Oh, my dear Doctor, do you think I would be so stupid as to fall for that old trick.

DOCTOR: Suit yourself.

NYSSA hits the Master over the head with the book.

DOCTOR: Well done Nyssa! I knew that the TARDIS manual would eventually come in handy

NYSSA: Doctor, look!

Both look at the MASTER who's features are becoming blurred.

NYSSA: He's regenerating! He must be!

DOCTOR: Yes. Yes you're right. Back to the TARDIS.

SCENE 2: TARDIS Interior

The DOCTOR is pacing back and forth as NYSSA looks on.

DOCTOR: But there's no possible way it could be happening!

NYSSA: What, Doctor? I'm very confused. What exactly is happening? Doctor?!

DOCTOR: Hmm...? Oh, yes I'm sorry, I was just thinking.

NYSSA: But the Master! He can't regenerate. . .can he?

DOCTOR: Yes. . .I mean, no. No, that's just it! He's already used up his alloted number of lives.

The DOCTOR paces back and forth as NYSSA looks on with apprehension.

DOCTOR: Unless. . .hmm. . .unless. . .

NYSSA: Unless what, Doctor?

DOCTOR: Unless he's also taken my wallet along with my sonic screwdriver!

NYSSA: Why? Is that bad?

DOCTOR: Don't you see!? That's where I keep all my spare lives!

Cue scary music of impending doom

SCENE 3: Outside the TARDIS, the MASTER Stumbles into view looking curiously the same due to the lack of funds to hire new actors at this late stage.

MASTER: Ha Ha Haa! The Doctor is so foolish to keep his spare lives within such easy reach. He will invariably attempt to retreive them, and I shall be waiting to spring my trap. Ha Ha Haa!

The Master rushes off into the darkness.

END OF EPISODE 1

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